Have you ever gone to do something and then stopped because you doubted yourself? The moment right before you were about to do something you decided that you didn’t want to do it anymore? I can resonate with this feeling. Often times, I get this feeling when reaching out to friends who I may not have seen or talked to in a long time. The feeling of doubt comes over me and I start to wonder why I have let so much time pass without seeing or contacting this friend and if reconnecting after an extended period of time will make things awkward.
Recently I was lucky enough to catch up with a friend who I hadn’t seen in months. Honestly, when I think back to why we went so long without seeing each other, I’m not sure exactly why or how this happened. I haven’t been so busy that I can’t make time to see a friend for a few hours and we don’t live far away from each other. I really didn’t have a good excuse for this and when we both discussed it, we were both shocked that it had been so long!
When we reconnected a few days ago, I realized that I wanted to make plans to (finally!) hang out in person. There is usually a sense of doubt within me when reaching out to friends who I don’t consistently talk to. Friendships and relationships are fluid so it can be hard to judge the exact nature of a friendship at any given time, especially if you haven’t spoken to this particular friend for a long time.
After reconnecting and spending 5 minutes together, I could tell that nothing had changed since the last time we saw each other and we could still laugh, share stories, and have a great time together. Funny enough, throughout the evening, we bonded over the fact that we both often hesitate to reach out to people and make plans and then we laughed about it thinking if we both hesitate to reach out to people and make plans, we’re lucky that we are here together right now!!
Over the years, some friendships fade and others become stronger over time but I have learned two things throughout my experiences. First, any friendship/relationship takes two people, so if it fades over time don’t put all the blame on yourself, since it takes two people and fundamental communication to have any type of friendship. Second, do not be afraid to reach out to friends you haven’t seen or talked to in a little while if you’re interested in catching up. There are two possible outcomes to this situation. Worst case scenario the person will not respond to your text/phone call or he/she may give you a reason as to why they can’t hang out. The best case scenario is that you end up getting together and you have such a great time together that one (or both) of you will wonder why one of you didn’t reach out sooner. 🙂
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